Tell me, O muse,

of that ingenious hero who travelled far and wide after he had sacked the famous town of Troy. Many cities did he visit, and many were the nations with whose manners and customs he was acquainted; moreover he suffered much by sea while trying to save his own life and bring his men safely home; but do what he might he could not save his men, for they perished through their own sheer folly in eating the cattle of the Sun-god Hyperion; so the god prevented them from ever reaching home. Tell me, too, about all these things, O daughter of Jove, from whatsoever source you may know them.

Yes yes, this is the telling of the epic of the Shawdyssey. I am that ingenious hero Shawdysseus, however, the opening passage breaks down into metaphor after the bard refers to me. By sacking the famous town of Troy, our bard means that I successfully navigated the perils of a choosing a graduate school (this still has yet to be done). The many cities that I did (will) visit are Banda Aceh, Indonesia, Kunming, China and every dorf between Izmir (Smyrna), Turkey and Berlin. Continuing into the second half of our bard's introduction, she completely looses touch with reality, as I can save my men even if they eat the brisket of those delicious cattle.

As the daughter of Jove weaves they story, and your wine makes the corners of the room hazy, we slip into present tense. We find me tying up various ends in the Twin Cities after a lovely 8 months there fighting them Trojans. At this point I have one last snag in my plan. It appears to me now that I should get an Indonesian Visa before I leave the US, rather than hanging around Kuala Lumpur for a few days getting it there. This would allow for three extra days in Indo which would be taken up by snorkeling with Jesse Sarah Mia and Guy Brown. There is no consulate in the Twin Cities, so I have to send away for such a Visa. If it doesn't return in 9 business days, then I'm hosed for the entire trip.

Find out what happens...